Author Topic: Hey Team Ann Arbor,  (Read 64181 times)


  • Guest
I want to talk trash too!
« Reply #30 on: August 11, 2004, 11:15:37 AM »
Will some one  or a lot of some ones Start imaginary problems with me too? Ya'll are having to much fun. I want to join.


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2004, 11:59:35 AM »
Quote from: "Steve"
I watched Eric's first night performance. It had style. And, believe it or not, I think it was a real poem! Not just a collection of emotional button pushing lines.

Sorry about that whole "reading a poem thing". I try not to make a habit out of reading actual poems at a poetry slam, and I certainly wasn't planning on doing it that night, but we changed our minds at the last minute.

You best start finding another way to rig the bout draw again next year, so I can use the rest of the insults I had planned, but didn't post.


  • Guest
The Importance of Being Ernst
« Reply #32 on: August 16, 2004, 12:38:19 PM »

Since I dropped the ball this year in the great show-me state of Misery (in fact I left a trail of balls from the stage to my seat and all the way back to Brookridge Street here in Ann Arbor and I'm still not quite sure I've found and/or replaced them all -- then again were these really my balls to begin with?...).  Anyway, since I let everyone on my team down, and everyone in my family, and everyone in Ann Arbor and greater Washtenaw County and its environs, and especially anyone who ever really, truly appreciated how great someone's ass has ever looked in a pair of pants, well, here's my plan:

I vow to set aside this petty, frustrating, counter-productive endeavor of worrying about what it means to be a "competitive performer" and return to my previous practice of pashionately not giving a fuck.

After all, if I truly did give a fuck about "performing" at nationals, I would have pandered to whatever geopolitical mood ruled the day (although I might have kept my pants on -- and not out of some puritanical sense of prudishness but out of a more advanced aesthetic awareness of the fact that no one wants to see my hairy ass -- as my last four or five girlfriends have made painfully clear).  To be more specific, I would have recognized the choir for what it was and appropriately preached to it.  In St. Louis, how many minds were truly challenged by our collective words?  Aside from the poets themselves, we'd have to ask the four people who actually showed up.

As for the poets themselves: to hear that most of them had a wonderful time in St. Louis, as Ann Frank liked to say, "despite everything," well, that's just ducky.  Put nearly 300 slam poets on the Kamchatka Peninsula and give us enough beer and microphones, we're gonna have a good time.  We're also gonna leave a big mess behind; We're gonna leave everybody at the Mil'kovo Hampton Inn wishing we were never born, not to mention our insensitive disruption of the late-summer caribou hunt, all for the sake of informing the eager minds of young Kamchaktans that child molestation is an unhealthy practice and George W is a bad president.

Also, if I truly gave a fuck about performing slam poetry competitively, I would not compete year after year to be on the Ann Arbor slam team.  This at first sounds contradictory, but trust me, it's not.  Apparently, because the Ann Arbor slam has close ties to PSI and its cousins, we are without a doubt rigging bout draws and fudging numbers -- and we're so bad a team that after all our manipulations we still come in virtually last.  We are the team everyone loves to hate, and we're not even the Yankees.  We're the Montreal Expos of Poetry Slam.  Except even that's a bad analogy.  We can only WISH we were from Canada.

And so, if it means that I shall go back to bringing pages to the stage with me in order to get through three minutes of pithy apolitical social commentary without fucking up, I shall do so, and I will leave the planned re-enactments of police brutality and military torture on the East and West Coasts (where they not only belong, but are apparently accepted as entertainment).  I will even put my hand back in the pocket of my dirty blue jeans while I read, if necessary.  And don't blame ME if the Ann Arbor audience puts me back on the team in 2005.  It's not my fault that they're the only ones who get my jokes.

Matt Ernst

Scott Woods

  • Epic
  • *****
  • Posts: 10979
    • View Profile
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #33 on: August 16, 2004, 01:24:30 PM »
I get your jokes, Matt, and I love them.

My hero.


  • Epic
  • *****
  • Posts: 11346
    • View Profile
    • The Wordsmith Press
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #34 on: August 16, 2004, 01:28:08 PM »
Jokes? You mean you're saying that stuff to be FUNNY? I didn't know you were making jokes.


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #35 on: August 16, 2004, 11:04:05 PM »
Matt.  I would give you a hug if it wasn't kinda weird.  We love you in ann arbor and fuck the rest of the country.  Let me just say that I get your jokes and am laughing as I type this.


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #36 on: August 17, 2004, 03:11:21 PM »
Hey, thanks for the support guys.  (Except for Steve.)
And notice, it's only guys...
Nonetheless, sorry Mike -- I'm not ready to come out of the closet quite yet.  But do give me a call if my next two marriages turn out the way my first one did -- by then I just might be ready for anything.
I also have to add that I have not entirely given up on performing without a page in my hand.  Since I seem to remember song lyrics more easily than lines of poetry (or in my case blocks of prose), I'm considering singing all my pieces from now on.  Having Mike read them while I perform the interpretive dance didn't quite work on a consistent basis.  Perhaps Mike can dance while I sing them, although I'm still gnawing on the possibility of hiring a stripper.  (A female stripper, Mike -- just put that thought out of your head right now.)


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #37 on: August 18, 2004, 10:08:37 AM »
Matt ,

Even if you decided to tattoo your poems to your stomach, take off your shirt while on stage and read them right off your torso, you would still rule.

And I'm a girl.  

And I think I get your jokes.  At least, I laugh at them.  You may be directly mocking me and all of my kind and it's so far over my head that I don't realize it.  But hell, I guess I'd still laugh anyway.

F**k the late summer caribou hunt,


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #38 on: August 18, 2004, 11:28:23 AM »
Wow!!!  You guys are so funny!  and I really enjoyed the Ann Arbor Poetry Slam last night.  Thanks Deb for calling me a "celebrity." (that really provided fuel to get my rocks off  :lol: )  Thanks to Steve also, and I can't wait to start working on the Michigan "Wolverine Claw Match" and remember to let me know if you need something.

so, in return for the wonderful late night the Ann Poetry Slam provided, I'm inviting you guys to the Cream Cafe (located on 25849 Lahser Rd in Southfield, MI around 8:00pm) on Sept 11th to support our feature & kick off our SLAM season in a new venue...

...(drum roll)...

the 2004 Kalamazoo National Poetry Slam Team.

 :P  :lol:  :)  :D  :shock:  :wink:

we'll also be giving a tribute to all victims of nationa/international/local terrorism.  so please come check us out :-)

Again thanks and I'll be comin back  :)



  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #39 on: August 18, 2004, 12:07:24 PM »
hey ann arbor -

just in case ernst didn't tell ya - you're the October feature at the Classic Cleveland Poetry Slam.

3rd Sunday

rev. salinger


  • Guest
Cleveland feature--3rd Sunday
« Reply #40 on: September 22, 2004, 01:30:17 PM »
Those of you who know me know that I absolutely never space out, my mind never wanders, and I always know what is going on.  *rolls eyes* But I need a teeny bit more information about this October 17th feature.  For instance, where is the venue and what time is the show?  And by "team Ann Arbor" is that the 2004 NPS team, or more like a league team (come one come all, or come whoever wants to)?  In short, am I featuring?  Are we just meeting there, or are people driving together, are we thinking about staying the night, or driving home?  

I want to do my new poem because I'm in love with it.  And (God willing) after November 2nd it will be obsolete.  And I know a lot of you don't really believe in God, but I don't really give a fuck.[/i]


  • Guest
The Skinny on the Cleveland Gig
« Reply #41 on: September 27, 2004, 08:41:33 PM »

We were kindly invited by Mr. Salinger to feature Cleveland in October -- 'we' being the 2004 NPS Ann Arbor Team -- Logic, Cat, Deanna, Becky, and yours insincerely, Captain Nitwit of the Ship of Fools.  Egomaniacal bastard that I am, I was being real quiet about it in the hopes that no one else would notice and I'd get the whole gig all for myself, but I see my diabolical plans have been foiled again.

I'm trying to get a friend or perhaps my brother to go down there with me, as in: "Hey, you want to go to Cleveland?  Great, we'll take your car."  If that plan falls through, I'll be begging others for a ride.  If it comes to that, and if I were you, I'd tell me to bugger off, you egomaniacal bastard, but if that plan doesn't fall through, I'm going to stay the night with my friend Brendan; some of you met him at Rustbelts -- so we won't return until Monday morning, because I'm planning on getting all liquored up after the show, you know, like always, and I don't want to have to navigate drunk.

As for the God thang, whether we believe in Him/Her/It or not is irrelevant.  Which is exactly why I'm always ranting about His/Her/It's highly unlikely existence.  Because I choose not to believe in God, but rather, in the kindness of strangers, I am often angered at the God-lovers, because wouldn't it be nice, I think, to believe in something so utterly consistent, even if it is a conspicuously absent consistency, rather than to believe in human beings, whose inconsistencies may just be their most admirable of qualities.

And now here's Posiedon with a look at the weather.


  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #42 on: July 15, 2005, 05:28:05 AM »
What? You didn't get enough last year, Ann Arbor? Have we got to go through all this ass-whupping business again in ABQ? It's getting a little repetitive, but that doesn't mean I won't enjoy it any less...


  • Sonnet
  • ***
  • Posts: 284
    • View Profile
    • Poets Anonymous K-Zoo
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #43 on: July 15, 2005, 07:38:53 AM »
Can we wup your asses, too?

Todd Bannon

Poets Anonymous K'Zoo
1st and 3rd Mondays:
Papa Pete's Coffee Bar, 502 South Burdick Street
1st and 3rd Wednesdays:
Dino's Coffee Lounge, 773 West Michigan Avenue
Kalamazoo, MI

pac diggity

  • Guest
Hey Team Ann Arbor,
« Reply #44 on: July 15, 2005, 10:00:27 AM »
bring it

-Ann Arbor